Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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