The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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