why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
