Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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