you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
