How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
