a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
