Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
