is your mom at the bar?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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