we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
false alarm, still single
Randomize
