Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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