What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
