So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
