remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
