I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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