I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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