I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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