Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
