After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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