I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
