highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
