yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
