who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
