Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
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