absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
