i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
