TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
