I wanna bring you to show and tell
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
