don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
