i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My pussy is not your playground.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
