Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
