There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
