hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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