yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The best revenge is premature balding
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
