Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
