I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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