Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
