your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
