i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Randomize
