new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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