did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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