Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
