Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
