can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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