Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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