yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
