at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
