You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
