i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
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