so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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