Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
