I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
